i woke up this morning, w/o the aid of the alarm clock with my throat feeling like it went through a shredder. it’s no better 14 hours later. whining spouse mode: engaged. lozenges at the ready.

I had a performance evaluation today. I hate one on one meetings with management. because of the guilt for feeling I’m not being all i could have been 40 hours a week, and the aspect of being the focus of attention, of scrutiny, of examination. the eye contact. despite the fact that bosslady is pretty cool and in our group there’s no drama. but i’m getting better at it.

i have come to learn through marriage that my need for validation is a pretty strong need. less than food and shelter, about neck and neck with the need for “relations”. i want to know i’m needed but don’t want to have to sit in a room on the other side of an autority figure’s desk to hear it.

disclaimer: bosslady reads this blog on occasion, but really, she is pretty cool.