I have found the enemy and its name is Brata canadensis, more commonly known as the Canadian Goose. The eat and crap all day in my yard because of its proximity to the pond. Why are Canadian Geese in my North Carolina yard? got me looking crazy chasing them with a broom.
They are a protected species, and I haven’t found an untracable way to get rid of them. Except for that Goose repellant I have yet to order online. Being married to a card carrying PETA member doesn’t help. I fantasize about catching them and grilling them and having the neighbors over.
The silver lining is I don’t have to mow the lawn.