I hung out with my frat brother tonight. he’s in town for a conference.
I call him as he’s about to step out.

“where are you going?”

“to the ABC Store. got to get me a taste of ABSOLUT”

this is the one who we could not get to touch a drop of liquor in college. not even…well that’s another story. but he was always devoutly sober.

“ok who is this? when you start drinking?”

[editor’s note: character assasination deleted]

later after we caught up we went to this function they were having. nothing can prepare you for seeing an asian man wearing Cheetah pants in an 80’s cover band singing Nelly’s “East coast, I know you shakin right, Down South, I know you bouncin right”.

The rhythmless mass writhed painfully. and it was time to go.